I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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