You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
