K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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