my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
