I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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