What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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