think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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