come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
