You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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