is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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