I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
organizing the empties. That sober.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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