Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
