Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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