Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
