Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
