I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
