Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
