Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
