i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
