so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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