No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
