So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
