so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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