oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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