I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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