I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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