guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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