when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
