I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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