carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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