Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
