hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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