just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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