I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
did you just send me my own nude
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dick very happy bro
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
