okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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