I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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