Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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