just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
