apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
