Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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