Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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