dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
