you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize