yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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