I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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