2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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