Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
