I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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