used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize