Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
