I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
