Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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