You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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