He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
