ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
