It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
